[Ron61]

A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains without
water.His horse has already died of thirst..He's crawling through the
sand, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden
he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.He
crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks
to be an old briefcase. He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no
ordinary genie. She is wearing a FEMA (Federal Emergency Management
Agency) ID badge and a dull gray dress.There's a calculator in her
pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked behind one ear. 'Well, cowboy,' says
the genie... 'You know how I work....You have three wishes..''I'm not
falling for this,' said the cowboy... 'I'm not going trust a FEMA
genie..''What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it
looks like you're a goner anyway!'The cowboy thinks about this for a
minute, and decides that the genie is right..'OK!, I wish I were in a lush
oasis with plenty of food and drink..'***POOF***The cowboy finds himself
in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen, and he is surrounded with
jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.'OK, cowpoke, what's your second
wish?''My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest
dreams.'***POOF***The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests
filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.'OK, cowpuncher, you have
just one more wish. Better make it a good one!'After thinking for a few
minutes, the cowboy says... 'I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful
women will want and need me.'***POOF***He was turned into a tampon.The
moral of the story:If the government offers to help you, there's going to
be a string attached.