[Rick Young]

There was a woman who had car trouble and was looking under the hood to try to identify the problem when a passing male motorist stopped and ask what the problem was. Upon being told, the man took advantage of the situation and pulled the hood down so that the woman couldn't get out, lifted up her dress and had his way with her, then left her in that situation. Later a policeman came upon the sceen, rescued the woman and took her statement. She told him what had happened, that she couldn't see the person but that it had to be a man from either Montana or Texas that attacked her. The polieceman asked how she knew this if she couldn't see the attacker. She said it was because he had a big buckle and a little 'tool'.

Not too good, huh.

How about the little boy who every time he saw a cowboy would say "you funny looking bowl legged bastard". This would embarras his folks to no end and they tried several approached to curb the little tykes reaction to the cowboys. Nothing seemed to work, and the sayings continued. Finally one day after a trying sutuation the parents took him home and sat him down with a book af Shakespear. Later thet evening they thought of testing the cure and went to their favorite hangout. Sure enough there was a cowboy that walked in about in the middle of dinner. Seeing this the boy stood up in his chair, turned to the cowboy and said "foresooth, what manner of men are these, who wear their balls in parentheses".

Not yet.

A man walked into a bar and asked the bartender to line up ten shots of straight scotch. Doing so the bartender asked what sort of occation warrented this kind of reward. The man replied "my first blow job". The bartender said that it was indeed a monumental occation and that he would buy the guy another one himself. The patron responded, "don't bother, if ten drinks don't get this taste out of my mouth, one more won't help.

last chance.

Three traveling salesmen were stranded on an old country road and were forced to seek shelter at a nearby farm house. Seeing that the situation prevented the men from continuing their journey until morning the farmer agreed to put the men up for the night. As it worked out the farmer had three daughters and one of the salesmen was to share the sleeping quarters of each. After supper, as they went to bed, the farmer cautioned the salesmen to refrain from "messing around with his daughters" during the night. The next morning the farmer met the salesmen at the foot of the stairs as they came down from his daughter's bedrooms. He asked the first salesman if he had had sex with his daughter, the first salesman admitted that he had. The farmer asked what it was that he sold and the salesman replied, "scissors", to which the farmer said, "well I guess we'll just have to snip if off for disobeying my request". The second salesman came down and faced the same question, and answered the same. When asked what he sold he replied "hatchets". The famer said, "I guess we'll have to hack it off". The third salesman came down and was also faced with the question of sex and again replied that he couldn't help himself, he had had sex with the daughter. The farmer asked him what he sold and he said, "lollypops, now you can suck it off".