[CobraDan]

The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an
early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired straight
away his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch
measured in a straight line between any two parts of the general's body,
with the general getting to select any pair of points he wished.
The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked the pension man
to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet.
He walked out with a check of $720,000.
The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from
the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. Eight feet.
He walked out with a check for $960,000.
When the third general, a grizzled old Marine, was asked where to
measure, he told the pension man, "Measure from the tip of my penis to
the bottom of my testicles." The pension man suggested that perhaps
the Marine general might like to reconsider, pointing out the nice
checks the previous two generals had received. The Marine insisted,
and the pension expert said that would be fine, but that he'd better
get the medical officer to do the measuring.
The medical officer attended and asked the general to drop his pants.
He did. The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the general's
penis and began to work back. "My God!" he said. "Where are your
testicles?" "In Vietnam!" the general replied.