HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper
according to
lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed
areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror-make mental
note- must do
more sit-ups.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide
loofah and pumice
stone.
Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43
added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it’s clean.
Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner
enhances with natural
avocado
oil.
Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten
minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body
wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it has
all come off).
Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area, but
decide to get it
waxed instead.
Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you
lose the water
pressure.
Turn of the shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze
hairs.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on
head.
If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed
areas and
then sashay to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting
dressed.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and
leave them in a
pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her
making the “woo-woo”
sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your
gut to see if you
have pecs (no).
Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror and scratch you
butt.
Fart.
Get in the shower.
Don’t bother to look for a washcloth (you don’t use one).
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse
it off.
Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
Majority of time is spent washing your privates and
surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs on the soap
bar.
Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).
Make a shampoo Mohawk.
Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror
again.
Pee (in the shower).
Rinse off and get out of the shower.
Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the
curtain hanging out
of the tub the whole time.
Partially dry off.
Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles, admire wiener
size again.
Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.
Leave bathroom fan and light on.
Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you
pass your wife,
pull off the towel, shake wiener at her, and make the
“woo-woo” sound again.
Throw wet towel on the bed.
Get dressed in under two minutes. Fart