[Hotfingrs]

For calling in sick


I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who
fired me for not showing up for work. OK?

When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-lax in addition to my Prozac. I
can't get off the john, but I feel good about it.

My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her to
her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace.
One day should do it.

I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is
completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter
transportation.

If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. The voices told
me to clean all the guns today.

I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that
deadline to meet....

I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at Tom Thumb.

I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to
work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.

The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw
restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled.