Hey guys, I finally got it, Mikie went to a Chinese massage parlor:
first, he procured, yep that's the correct word.
second, in his rush, he gasp, got stuck. being a fine upstandin gent I will not ask where or how or why
third: he was massaged, presumably to relieve the reason why he was stuck.
fourth: when he became unstuck, he felt rejected, because he realized where he had got stuck.
fifth: well, he finally located where to put it.
sixth: when all was said and done, he had a happy ending and thus was enlightened.
Morale of the story, well in this case, there is none since Mikie had never been to a Chinese massage palor before and didn't know the drill. tin-man