Joe says to Paddy: "Close your curtains the next time you're shagging
your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them stupid bastards because I wasn't
even at home yesterday.
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The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They imported 50million
tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own
oil.
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Paddy says to Mick - I'm ready for a holiday, only this year I'm going
to do it a bit different. 3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got
pregnant. 2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant. Last year I
went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant.
Mick asks - So what are you going to do this year?.
Paddy replies - I'm gunna take her with me!
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Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on a Friday this year".... Mick says
"Let's hope it's not the 13th."
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Paddy & Mick find three hand grenades, so they take them to a police
station. Mick: "What if one explodes before we get there?" Paddy:
"We'll lie and say we only found two."
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Paddy's in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him. "Did you find the
shampoo?" Paddy says, "yes but it's for dry hair and I've just wet mine."