[bliss]

Two hillbillies are having lunch when a woman seated nearby begins to choke.

Hillbilly asks her,"kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no. Hillbilly asks her "kin ya breathe?" Woman shakes her head no. Hillbilly walks over,lifts up her dress, yanks down britches and licks her butt cheek.

The woman has a violent spasm and spits out food. The hillbillies' buddy says "ya know,I heerd of that there hind lick maneuver but I aint niver seed nobody do it".....
_____

"I do not like work even when someone else does it." (Mark Twain)

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society." (ditto)

"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the chance?" (Edgar Bergen)

"Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate." (Dave Barry)

"A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done." (Fred Allen)

"Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful--provided you get between the right man and the right woman." (Woody Allen)

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy." (Ernest Benn)