[bliss]

Little Johnny asked his mother "Ma, is it true that people can be taken apart like machines?"

"Of course not, where did you hear such nonsense?" replied by his mother

Little Johnny answered " The other day, Daddy was talking to someone on the phone, and he said that he screwed the a$$ off his secretary."
_____

An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road.
A man asks, "What's wrong?"
The boy says, "Me ma is dead."
"Oh bejaysus," the man says, "Do you want me to call Father O' Riley for you?"
The boy replies, "No tanks mister, sex is the last thing on my mind at the moment."
_____

A young girl was going on a date. Her grandmother said: "Sit
here and let me tell you about those young boys.....

He is going to try and kiss you, you are going to like that,
but don't let him do that.

He is going to try and feel your breast, you are going to like
that but don't let him do that.

But most important, he is going to try and get on top of you
to have his way with you. You are going to like that, but
don't let him do that. It will disgrace the family.

With that bit of advice, the granddaughter went on her date.

The next day she told grandma that her date went just like
she had predicted:

"Grandma, I didn't let him disgrace the family. When he tried,
I just turned over, got on top of him, and disgraced HIS
family..."

Grandma fainted.