[Dave Samson]

This guy walked into a bar and saw a sign for free beer.
He asked the bartender where he could the free beer.

The bartender said, "Go upstairs and it's the first door on your left."

So, he went upstairs and went in the first door on his left. As he
walked in he saw the ugliest, fattest, smelliest women he has ever seen. He asked how to get the free beer.

She said, "All you have to do is give me a free screw."

He thought about it for a while then remembered free beer. So he said, "Okay, but you have to keep your eyes closed."

When she closed her eyes he ran downstairs and into the corn field outside. He took a piece of corn, ran back to the room and saw that the woman still had her eyes closed.

He stuck the corn in her, and her screwed the daylights out of this
woman with the it. When he was done, he through the corn out the window and told her to open her eyes.

She said that was the best sex she has ever had.

Then, he went downstairs and got his beer. When he left, he saw his friend and told him about the excellent FREE beer he had.

Smiling his friend said, "yeah, but it wasn't as good as this piece of corn I just had!"