[bliss]

A Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in

Mexico arguing about which country had the toughest trees.


The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no

woodpecker could peck.


The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly

pecked a hole in the tree with no problem.

The Mexican woodpecker was amazed.



The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Mexican

woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada that was absolutely

'impeccable' (a term frequently used by woodpeckers).

The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he

could do it and accepted the challenge.

The two of them flew to Canada where the Mexican

woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called 'impeccable'

tree almost without breaking a sweat.

Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused.

How is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able

to peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican

woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree,

yet neither was able to peck the tree in their own country?


After much woodpecker pondering, they both

came to the same conclusion. Apparently, Tiger

Woods was right, when he said, 'Your pecker gets

harder when you're away from home.'
_____

An elderly couple had been dating for some time.
Finally they decided it might be time for marriage.
But before tying the knot, they went out for a heart to heart talk over
dinner about whether it would really work out.
They discussed finances, living arrangements, snoring, and so on.

Finally, the gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of
their physical relationship. "How do you feel about sex?" he asked,
rather trustingly. "Well," she said, responding very carefully, "I'd
have to say that I would like it infrequently."

The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment.
Then looking over his glasses, he casually asked, "Was that one word or
two?"