[bliss]

After his retirement Sir Winston Churchill was cruising the Mediterranean on an Italian cruise liner and some Italian journalists asked why an ex British Prime Minister should choose an Italian ship."There are three things I like about being on an Italian cruise ship" - said Churchill.

"First their cuisine is unsurpassed. Second their service is superb. And third, in case of an emergency, there is none of this nonsense about women and children first."
_____

Clovis is passing by Boudreaux's hay barn one day when, through a gap
in the door, he sees Boudreaux doing a slow and sensual striptease in front
of an old green John Deere.

Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides
off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then
hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his
overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt.
Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his
stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from
his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.

Having seen enough, Clovis rushes in and says, "What the world're ya
doing, Boudreaux?"

"Good grief, Clovis, ya scared the bejeebers out of me," says an
obviously embarrassed Boudreaux.

"But me 'n the wife been havin trouble lately in the bedroom
d'partment, and the therapist suggested I do something sexy to
a tractor."

(Don't make me come splain this to you! Read the last line again, slowly.)