[bliss]

A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: “Paint…my…house.”
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A couple I know were at my house, I had a few friends over. The couple told us that they
have 4 sons and needed advice on how to get a daughter.
Friend#1: Keep trying!
Friend#2: Change your Doctor!
Friend#3: Follow a special diet.
Friend#4: Practice yoga!
But apparently my “Let me try” wasn’t very good advice.
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I went into the kitchen this morning and found my wife face down not breathing. I panicked! Didn’t know what to do!!!!!!
Then I remembered Mcdonalds does breakfast till 10:30!
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My wife asked me to act out my wildest fantasies. So I filed for divorce.
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JOKE OF THE YEAR

Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business