[letsboogie351]

My wife and I had words,
But I didn't get to use mine


God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.


Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his friend and kills him. Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends!"


What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant.


An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"Neighbours feared him. They believed he practiced magic because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighbourhood. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98. His wife had a closed coffin at the funeral. After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow.Her neighbours, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life? "The wife put down her drink and said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down. And I know he won't ask for directions."