[bliss]

So the little boy comes home late from school. Mom asks why late? Was having sex with teacher. Mom says don't lie to me, go to your room and wait for a whipping from your father when he gets home from work.

Dad arrives home and the wife says the son made up an excuse about having sex with his teacher. Dad asks if it is true? Yes, the son says. Alright! says Dad. You're a chip off the old block. Let's go ride our bikes and you can tell me all about it.

Not now, Dad, my butt still hurts.
_____

A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells size extra large condoms. He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?" She responds, "No sir, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?"
_____

Two cowboys walk into a roadhouse to wash the trail dust from their throats. They stand at the bar, drinking their beers and talking quietly about cattle prices.

Suddenly a woman at the table behind them begins to cough weakly. After a minute or so it becomes apparent that she's in real distress, and the cowboys turn to look at her.

"Kin ya swaller?" asks one of the cowboys. The woman shakes her head in the negative.

"Kin ya breathe?" asks the other. The woman, beginning to turn a bit blue, shakes her head No again.

The first cowboy walks over to her, lifts up the back of her skirt, yanks down her panties, and slowly runs his tongue from the back of her thigh up to the small of her back. This shocks the woman into a violent spasm; the obstruction flies out of her mouth, and she begins to breathe again.

The cowboy walks back over to the bar and takes a drink of his beer. His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heard of that there Hind Lick Maneuver, but I never seen anybody do it."

Giddy up the day