[bliss]

Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone,

"Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir."

Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he asked, "What do you want?"

"Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "I'm just here to hook up your telephone."
_____

Standing at the newspaper dispenser the colonel realized all he had were bills in his pocket.
"Excuse me soldier," he said to a passing private, "do you have change for a dollar?"
"Sure buddy," the private said.
"I'm an officer," the colonel said, so let's try this again, this time with proper respect. Do you have change for a dollar?"
"No sir."