[bliss]

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate
with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an
Economics degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal
Arts degree asks, "Would you like fries with that?"
____

My wife turned to me during her mother's funeral and hissed, "When we
get home later, I'm going to make you f***ing pay for this!"



For the life of me I couldn't think of what I had done wrong.



Maybe it's because I wasn't sharing my popcorn.
_____

An elderly couple goes to a marriage councilor to work out their problems. During the session, the wife says to the husband, "Look at that fat belly. If it was on a young woman, she'd be pregnant!" To which the husband coyly replies, "It was and she is!"