[bliss]

Zen....

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.
_____

As a mother was bribing her little boy with a quarter so he would behave, she said, "Why do I always have to pay you to be good?

Why can't you be good for nothing like your dad?"
_____

A spouse is someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.