[bliss]

I was explaining to my wife that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature.

She said 'I'd like to come back as a cow'.

I said 'You obviously weren't listening'
_____

A man was reading the newspaper during breakfast and said to his wife, "Look at this. Another beautiful actress is going to marry a baseball player who's a total dope!

I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the hottest wives."

His wife just smiled and said, "Thank you".