[bliss]

Adam was talking to his friend at the bar, and he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday - she has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stuck."

His friend said, "I have an idea! Why don't you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled." Adam decided to to his friend's advice.

The next day at the bar his friend said, "Well? Did you take my suggestion?"

"Yes, I did," Adam replied.

"Did she like it?"

"Oh yes! she jumped up , thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door, yelling "I'll be back in an hour!!"
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How many Freudian’s does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to turn the light bulb and one to hold the penis…I mean ladder. I meant to say ladder.
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A woman walks into a bar...

...and orders a double-entendre.

The bartender gives it to her, if you know what I mean.
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New Math...

Billy has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. Billy has diabetes.
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