[CobraDan]

Anyone can piss on the floor, be a hero sh!t on the ceiling

The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.


Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.


Beauty is only a light switch away.


I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.


Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"


God made pot. Man made beer. Whom do you trust?


Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.


No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap.


At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.


It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.


Make love, not war. Hell, do both, get married!


If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.


A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.