Three men are killed in an accident, and all arrive simultaneously at the gates of Heaven.
St Peter lines them up, and asks the first bloke; “Religion?”
The first bloke replies: “Methodist.”
St. Peter looks down his list, and says; “Go to Room 24 - but be very quiet as you pass Room 8.”
St. Peter says to the second bloke; “Religion?”
The second bloke says: “Baptist.”
St. Peter: “OK - go to Room 18 - but be very quiet as you pass Room 8.”
St. Peter says to the third bloke; “Religion?”
The third bloke says: “Jewish.”
St. Peter says: “Go to Room 11 - but be very quiet as you pass room 8.”
The third bloke says; “I can understand there being different rooms, for different religions - but why must we all be very quiet, as we pass Room 8?”
St. Peter says: “Well, the Jehovah’s Witnesses are in Room 8 - and they think they're the only ones here.”
A woman is sitting at home on the veranda with her husband and she says: "I love you."
He asks: "Is that you or the wine talking?"
She replies: "It's me ............... talking to the wine !!"