[bliss]

What are the two main ingredients in Viagra?

Fix-A-Flat and Miracle Grow.
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A man was telling his neighbor "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but its state of the art. It's perfect". "Really" answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?" "Twelve thirty".
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A Soviet journalist walks into the hospital and tells the desk nurse, "I want to see the eye-ear doctor."

"There is no such doctor" she tells him. "Perhaps you would like to see someone else?"

"No, I need to see an eye-ear doctor," he says.

"But there is no such doctor," she replies. "We have doctors for the eyes and doctors for the ear, nose and throat, but no eye-ear doctor."

No help. He repeats, "I want to see the eye-ear doctor."

They go around like this for a few minutes and then the nurse says: "Comrade, there is no eye-ear doctor, but if there were one, why would you want to see him?"

"Because," he replies, "I keep hearing one thing and seeing another."