[bliss]

Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, arrives at Passport Control at Athens airport. "Nationality?" asks the immigration officer. "German" she replies. "Occupation?" "No, not this time I am just here for a few days first".
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I'll never forget how happy I was when I saw my missus walking down the aisle towards me. My heart was beating fast and the excitement was unbearable. It seemed to take an age, but eventually there she was, standing beside me. I gave her a loving smile and said "Get that cart over here love. They're doing 3 cartons of beer for the price of 2".
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A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United
States.

He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me come into this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and a free education!"

The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am a Mexican."

The man goes on and encounters another passerby."Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America."

The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese."

The new arrival walks farther, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand, and says, "Thank you for wonderful America!

That person puts up his hand and says,"I am from Middle East. I am not American."

He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?"

She says, "No, I am from Africa."

Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"

The African lady checks her watch and says, "Probably at work."