What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of his time doing?
Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.
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Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?
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A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any luggage. The photon replies: “No, I’m traveling light.
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When I heard that oxygen and magnesium hooked up I was like OMg.
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A Buddhist monk approaches a hotdog stand and says: “Make me one with everything”.
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Never trust an atom. They make up everything.
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How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it’s a hardware problem.
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The Italian man said, 'Last week my wife and I had great sex when I rubbed her body all over with olive
oil and we made passionate love and she screamed for five full minutes at the end.'
The Frenchman boasted, 'Last week when my wife and I had sex, I rubbed her body all over with butter and made passionate love and she screamed for fifteen minutes.'
The Jewish man said, 'Well, last week my wife and I also had sex and I rubbed her body all over with schmaltz [chicken fat] and we made love and she screamed for over six hours.'
The other two were stunned and the amazed Frenchman asked, 'What could you have possibly done to make your wife scream for six hours?'
The Jewish man said, 'I wiped my hands on the bedspread.