[Tommy]

My favorite Christmas gift was the one I didn't get at the family's annual Dirty Santa game. Someone brought a metal device used to brand our favorite college team's name on a hotdog. The person who was stuck with it appealed to me to take it saying, "Just put it on the grill until it gets good and hot, and then put your weenie on it." ... "No thanks," I replied. "It sounds like it would hurt, but I'm sure the result would be very impressive."