[Baz]

A Highway Patrolman pulls over a car for speeding. The officer informs the male driver that his speed has been checked at 140kph in a 100kph zone.

The driver replies, "Christ officer. I had it on Cruise Control at 100. Perhaps your radar needs calibrating?" Not looking up from her knitting, his wife who was a passenger in the front of the vehicle says,"Now don't be silly dear. You know this car doesn't have Cruise Control." As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls,"Can't you keep your bloody mouth shut for once.?"

The wife looks back at him and says, "You should be thankful that your Radar Detector went off when it did." As the officer writes up the next ticket for the 'Illegal radar Detector', the driver looks at his wife and through clenched teeth says, "Damn it woman. I've just told you to keep your bloody mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and then says, "Sir. I also noticed that you weren't wearing your seat belt when I pulled you over? That's another automatic fine." The driver replied," Yeah well you see ****stable, I had it on, but took it off as you were walking up to my car so as I could get my license out of my wallet which was in my back pocket." The wife pipes up and says, "Now dear. You know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear a seat belt when your driving." As the officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and yells," For once and for all, shut your bloody mouth or I'll shut it for you."

The officer then looks at the women and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you like that Ma'am? The wife replies, "No. Only when he's been drinking heavily."