Not Ranked
First Rule of *Always Right* Club:
No Men Allowed.
I never know what to do with my hands during sex.
I just end up snapping my fingers along with the rhythm.
I really think Miracle Whip lowered the bar for what constitutes a miracle.
If a genie ever gives me three wishes, goodbye Kardashians.
What happens in Vegas stays on Facebook.
Live each day as if everyone loves you because self-delusion is underrated as a coping mechanism.
I just ate a salad that was so bad, Nicolas Cage is starring in a movie about it.
Cop: I see you failed to use your turn signal back there. So I pulled an illegal u-turn, broke the speed limit and forced other drivers off the road with my flashing strobe lights so I could detain you and extort money from you...to teach you a lesson about unsafe driving habits.
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