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Old 04-19-2002, 10:04 AM
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Flyin_Freddie Flyin_Freddie is offline
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Talking A long one, but a good one...

A bit dated, but still one of my personal favorites....

Three explorers were in deepest, darkest Africa working for an oil company when they were captured by a local band of natives. They were hauled back to the natives camp and put on display where they were subjected to all kinds of humiliation. Finally, after several days of this public torture, they were cut down and dragged to a small hut where they huddled together awaiting their fate.

Several more days went by and finally, early one morning amid great fanfare and drum beating, the tribal Witch Doctor shows up. He's dressed in a feathered headress, with monkey heads on a rope around his waist, and he's holding a scepter with a human skull on it in his hand. As he steps into the hut, the drums outside reach a crescendo and stop....all goes completely silent in the encampment.

The Witch Doctor looks as the first poor explorer and says, "You have a choice: Death by Fire or you may have Chi-Chi!".

The explorer thinks for a moment, "Nothing can be more fearful than death by fire," he thinks, "so how bad could this Chi-Chi be?". So he replies to the Witch Doctor, "I'll take Chi-Chi!" . The Witch Doctor exits the hut, raises his scepter to the assembled crowd of natives and shouts "Chi-Chiiiiiiiiiii!".

Well, the natives all scream and holler, the drums start pounding, and two of them come in and drag the first explorer out. Unseen by the other two explorers, they drag him away and tie him face down over an altar with his butt stuck up in the air. One by one they all take turns sodomizing him...one after another until the entire camp had had their way with him...Booom-boom-booom-booom! When they finally cut him down hours later, his recturm is all torn and shattered, spurting blood and he dies in a twitching fit.

Well, since the other two explorers couldn't see any of what was going on, they still had no idea. Another day passes leaving the two men to ponder their fate, while the natives continue to dance around the hut and chant all night long. The next day, amid more drum pounding and crazed dancing, the Witch Doctor appears before the two men again. "Death by Fire, or Chi-Chi?" he asks again. One of the men says, "Death by fire must be terrible and I don't think I can stand it, so I'll take Chi-Chi, too." When the Witch Doctor leaves them, he again raises his scepter and all falls quiet. He shouts to natives..."Chi-Chiiiiii!"

Well, the entire camp goes nuts again....drums start pounding and two more natives come in and drag the second explorer out and tie him face down on the same altar. They rip his pants off and once again, every native starts pounding into his ass....one by one...it lasts for hours before the finally cut him down. Like the first, he's reduced a twitching mass of jelly and bleeds to death from his rectum. Not a pretty sight. The entire camp spent the rest of the day and night beating their drums, chanting and dancing around the hut where the third explorer is waiting for his visit from the dreaded Witch Doctor.

Sure enough, on the third morning, the Witch Doctor comes in to the final explorer. The chanting that had been going on all night ceased, and the drums that had been pounding all night fall silent as he repeats the choices to the ill-fated man. "Death by Fire, or Chi-Chi?", came the question.

Well, by this time the third explorer still had only heard the fates of both his friends and decided that even though he still didn't know what Chi-Chi was it must be a terrible death, he thought, possibly even worse than death by fire. So, after careful deliberation, he responds to the Witch Doctor, "I'll take fire...".

Once again the Witch Doctor steps from the hut and raises both his arms to the tribe. They stop and look closely for some sort of sign. The Witch Doctor shouts...."Death by FIRE!" and the crown again goes nuts. But, the Witch Doctor again raises his scepter and once again the crowd falls silent....drums stop and the explorer could hear even the insects in the jungle go silent.

The Witch Doctor says...." .....but first, CHI-CHIIIIIIIIIIII !"
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Last edited by Flyin_Freddie; 04-19-2002 at 10:16 AM..
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