I don't want to brag or make anyone jealous or anything, but I can still fit into the socks I wore in high school.
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Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
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An elderly black woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
'Wal-Mart?' the preacher exclaimed. 'Why Wal-Mart?'
'Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week.'
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I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair. She turned to me and asked, 'Are you having it catered'?
And that, my friend, is the definition of "OLD"
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