A doctor is speaking to his patient. ‘The results of your last test are conclusive,’ he says. ‘You’ve got six months to live.’ ‘Oh my God,’ says the patient. ‘Is there any thing I can do?’ ‘You could try lots of mud baths,’ says the doctor. ‘And will that cure me?’ asks the patient. ‘No,’ replies the doctor. ‘But it will help you get used to lying in dirt.’
_____
Heisenberg, Schrodinger and Ohm are in a car
They get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him "Do you know how fast you were going?"
"No, but I know exactly where I am" Heisenberg replies.
The cop says "You were doing 55 in a 35." Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts "Great! Now I'm lost!"
The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says "Do you know you have a dead cat back here?"
"We do now, a$$hole!" shouts Schrodinger.
The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists.