[bliss]

A little boy goes shopping with his mother and is waiting right outside of the ladies dressing room for his mom to come out. While waiting, the little boy gets bored and just when his mom comes walking out, she sees her son sliding his hand up a mannequin's skirt. "Get your hand out of there!" she shouts. "Don't you know that women have teeth down there?" The little boy quickly snatches his hand away and thanks his lucky stars he didn't get bitten.

For the next ten years, this little boy grows up believing all women have teeth between their legs. When he's 16, he gets a girlfriend. One night, while her parents are out of town, she invites him over. After an hour of making out and grinding on the sofa, she says, "You know, you could go a little further if you want."

"What do you mean?" he asks. "Well, why don't you put your hand down there?" she says, pointing to her crotch.

"HELL NO!" he cries, "You've got teeth down here!"

"Don't be ridiculous," she responds, "There's no such thing as teeth down there!"

"Yes there are," he says, "My mom told me."

"No there aren't," she insists. "Here, look for yourself." With that, she pulls down her pants and gives him a little peek.

"No I'm sorry" he says. "My mom already told me that ALL women have teeth down there."

"Oh for crying out loud!" she cries. She whips off her panties, throws her legs behind her head and says, "Look I don't have any teeth down there."

The boy takes a good long look and replies, "Well, after seeing the condition of those gums, I'm not surprised!"
_____

My wife is weird...

She begins every conversation with "Were you even listening to me?"
_____

A southern farmer got in his pickup and drove several miles to a neighboring farm
and knocked on the farmhouse door. A young boy, about 12, opened the door. "Is yer
pa home?" he asked.

"No sir, he sure ain't," the boy replied. "He went to town."

"Well," said the farmer. "Is yer ma home?"

"No, she ain't here either. She went to town with pa." "Well, then, how about yer brother, Joe, is he here?" "No sir, he
went with pa and ma."

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one
foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.

"Is there anything I kin do fer ya'?" inquired the young boy politely. "I know where
all the tools are, if you want to borry one; Or maybe I could take a message fer
pa."

Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to yer pa. It's about
your brother Joe getting my daughter, Pearly Mae, pregnant."

The boy considered for a moment. "You would have to talk to pa about that," he finally
conceded. "I know that pa charges $500 for the bull and $250 for the boar hog, but
I really don't know how much he gets for Joe."