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My earliest memory is nine months before I was born. I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.
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My neighbors listen to great music......whether they like to or not.
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My wife kept complaining that she needed more space, so I locked her out of the house.
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I don't remember the words "Anything you say can and will be used against you" being in my marriage vows.
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On a visit to Boston, I noticed a parking meter with a paper sack over it upon which was written: “Broken.”
A skeptical parking officer removed the bag, inserted a quarter in the meter and turned the dial. It worked perfectly. As the officer began to write a parking ticket, the car’s owner rushed out of a nearby building.
“What are you doing?” he yelled after a quick glance at the meter, “There’s plenty of time left!”
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"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
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