Airborne approximately thirty minutes, the lead flight attendant nervously made the following painful announcement:
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry but it appears that there has been a terrible mixup one minute prior to takeoff, by our airport catering service... I don't know how this has happened but we have 103 passengers on board and, unfortunately, only 40 dinner meals... I truly apologize for this mistake and inconvenience."
When the passengers' muttering had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat will receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our 5 hour flight."
Her next announcement came 90 minutes later...
"If anyone would like to change their minds, we still have 40 dinners available!"
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A lawyer had a wife and 12 children and needed to move as his rental agreement was coming to an end for the home where he lived but was having difficulty in finding a new home.
When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they knew that the children would destroy the home.
He could not say that he had no children, he could not lie, after all, lawyers cannot and do not lie.
So, he had an idea: he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 children. He took the remaining one with him to see homes with the Real Estate Agent. He liked one of the homes and the agent asked, "How many children do you have?”
He answered : "12 children.”
The agent asked "Where are the others?'
The lawyer answered, with a sad look, "They are in the cemetery with their mother.”
And that's the way he was able to rent a home for his family without lying.
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When it comes to affairs of the heart, I try to avoid EMT's, electric paddles, and the word "Clear."
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I told my wife the truth - That I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth - she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers and a bartender.
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