Not Ranked
A Texan, a Frenchman and an Israeli are on a plane flying the Pacific Ocean
when the engines stop functioning. The plane crash lands on a Pacific Island
and the 3 are immediately captured by a tribe of cannibals and taken to their
village.
The Chief tells the 3 captives that these cannibals are civilized and they
have a custom on their island that before they eat anyone, they grant that
person his or her last wishes, no matter what they are.
He asks the Texan, "What is your last wish?"
The Texan replies: "I want a 2 inch thick steak with all the trimmings, Cajun
fries and a case of Bud." The Chief motions to some of his tribesmen who
immediately run into the jungle and come back with the steak, the fries and
the beer. The Texan eats his meal and he is thrown in the pot.
The Frenchman is asked: "What is your last wish?"
He replies: "I'd like a case of Dom Perignon and I'd also like a big plate of
escargots cooked in the French manner." The Chief motions to his tribesmen
who immediately rush off into the jungle and bring back everything the
Frenchman asked for. He eats and drinks his fill, and he is then thrown in
the pot.
The Chief turns to the Israeli and asks, "And what is your wish?"
The Israeli looks the Chief squarely in the eyes and replies: "I want you to
kick me in the behind as hard as you can." The Chief is bewildered and asks
the Israeli again, only to receive the same reply. "I want you to kick me in
the behind as hard as you can."
The Chief shrugs his shoulders, asks the Israeli to turn around, and kicks
him as hard as he can.
With that the Israeli pulls out a gun and kills the Chief and all of the
other cannibals.
The Texan and the Frenchman get out of the pot, look at the Israeli and
say:"If you had that gun why didn't you do anything sooner?"
The Israeli replies: "What? And risk being condemned by the UN, EU and the
State Department for 'overreacting' to insufficient
provocation?"
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