A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."
Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screamed
"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."
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SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT
If women are so wonderful at multitasking, How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?
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Top 3 situations that require witnesses:
1) Crimes
2) Accidents
3) Marriages
Need I say more?
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If one door closes & another door opens…
you’re probably in prison.
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I surprised my wife last night during sex with a little maneuver I like to call "coming home early."
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