Thread: Jokes
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Old 11-19-2015, 10:03 AM
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bliss bliss is offline
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Astute Observations...

The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.

I live in my own little world, but it's OK. Everyone knows me here.

I saw a very large woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it. I said, "Left Tackle?”

I don't do drugs anymore. I find I get the same effect just by standing up quickly.

If life deals you lemons, make lemonade. If life deals you tomatoes, make a Bloody Mary.

Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.

No one ever says, "It's only a game!" when their team's winning.

Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?

Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing;
If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't need the freakin' class!

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
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