I said to my wife: "On your gravestone I'll put "COLD AS EVER".
She said: "On yours I'll put "STIFF AT LAST".
_____
I once went out with a girl who had fiery red hair and a pale, thin body. I met her on Match.com.
_____
I'm such a firm believer in reincarnation, I'm leaving everything to myself.
_____
I watched my dog chase his tail in circles for ten minutes, thinking how stupid and easily entertained he was. Then I realized I had just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes.
_____
