[bliss]

On their 25th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Joseph was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.

"Tell us Joseph, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?"

Joseph responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness

...and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single."
_____

Two Irish nuns, old and young, were sitting at a traffic light in their car when a bunch of rowdy drunks pulled up alongside of them.

"Hey, show us your t!ts, ye bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks.

The Mother Superior thought this would be a good test for the novice, and turns to Sister Immaculata, "I don't think they know who we are - show them your cross".

So, Sister Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Screw off ye little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off!"

Sister Immaculata looks back at the Mother Superior and asks, "Was that cross enough, Sister?"