[bliss]

If you think things improve with age, attend a class reunion sometime.
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Who picks up a seeing eye dog's poop?
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A man brandishing a gun walks into a crowded bar and yells out, "Who's been sleeping with my wife?"

A few moments later, a man in the back yells back, "You don't have enough bullets!"
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Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.
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I'm getting slower in my old age.

My wife asked me to help her move some furniture and it took me twenty minutes to think of an excuse.
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My wife left after she caught me wearing her favorite dress. I said, "Please don't go, I can change."
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As soon as women see me, they want to get in shape to impress me. That's why they start running.
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