Just as a young man was about to get a chest X-ray, the equipment slipped and his pelvic region was X-Rayed instead.
"Oh, no!", cried the lab technician, "Your reproductive organs just received a huge dose of radiation!"
"What does that mean?" asked the worried young man.
"It's serious," replied the technician. "All your children will be lawyers!"
_____
Bert, at 85 years old, always wanted a pair of soft spike golf shoes like Freddie Couples, so, seeing some on sale after his round, he bought them. He was so delighted with his purchase, he decided to wear them home to show the misses.
Walking proudly into the house, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"
Margaret at age 83 looked him over and replied, "Nope."
Frustrated as all get out, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the new golf shoes.
Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different
NOW?"
Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan response, "Bert,
what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."
Furious, Bert yells out, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN MARGARET?"
"Nope. Not a clue", she replied.
"IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW GOLF SHOES!
Without missing a beat old Margaret replies, "You shoulda bought a new hat.
_____
