It was George the Mailman’s last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.
As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup’s bottom edge. “All this was just too wonderful for words,” he said, “but what’s the dollar for?” “Well,” she said, “last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you. He said, ‘SCREW him. Give him a dollar.’ The breakfast was my idea.”
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When KFC sales hit a lean patch, Colonel Sanders came up with a brilliant advertising idea.
He got in touch with the Pope and asked the pontiff whether he could change the words of the Lord's Prayer from "Give us this day a daily bread" to "Give us this day a daily chicken."
"I can't possibly do that," said the Pope.
"Not even for 100,000 dollars?" asked the Colonel.
"No, not for 100,000 dollars," replied the Pope.
Six months on and KFC sales were declining still further. The Colonel was getting desperate and made another call to the Pope.
This time he offered 500,000 dollars for the words of the Lord's Prayer to be changed to "Give us this day a daily chicken."
Again the Pope refused, "I can't possibly change the wording of the Lord's Prayer from bread to chicken," he repeated.
Another 6 months and KFC sales had reached an all-time low.
The company was in danger of going out of business. Colonel Sanders made one last attempt to persuade the Pope to change the wording of the Lord's Prayer.
"I'll donate 50 million dollars to the Vatican if you change the word 'bread' to 'chicken' in the Lord's Prayers."
"That's a lot of money," conceded the Pope.
"So you'll do it?"
"I'll have to discuss it with the Cardinals."
So the Pope called a meeting of the Cardinals. He began, "I have good news and bad news.
The good news is, KFC is going to donate 50 million dollars to Vatican.
The bad news is, we lost the Wonder Bread account."
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Not a joke, but cool.....
The difference between 850 hp and 10,000 hp
watch-a-koenigsegg-agera-hit-284mph-in-stunning-onboard-footage