[bonyhadi]

TOP EIGHT MORONS OF THE YEAR

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?

AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked
intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.
Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:

Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a
gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear
gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in
the police line, shouting "Please come out and give yourself up."

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???

An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and
forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the
kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY!

A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money
in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the
store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police
showed
up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT???

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just
couldn't control himself during a line-up. When detectives asked each
man in the line-up to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll
shoot".
The man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??

A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the
doctor asked.
"No!", the man shouted, "This is her husband!".

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!

In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold
up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a
finger to simulate a gun but, unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in
his
pocket.
(hellllllooooooo!)

8. THE GRAND FINALE

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east
of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a
problem.
No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft
going.
It was very sluggish in almost every manoeuvre, no matter how much power
was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a
nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong.
A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition.

The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the prop was the correct
size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check
underneath, he came up choking on water. He was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER ...THIS IS TRUE...
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer. (no reflection on Claunch or Tractor Driver intended or implied!)