[bliss]

As I stepped out of the shower, I heard someone in my kitchen downstairs.
Knowing that my wife was out, I grabbed my 1903 heirloom rifle—which no longer works—
and crept downstairs, forgetting the fact that I was in my birthday suit.

I came around the corner with the gun raised, only to find my wife loading the dishwasher.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I thought I heard an intruder. ?I came down to scare him.”

Scanning the contours of my doughy, naked body, she mumbled, “You didn’t need the gun.”
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea, does that mean that one ENJOYS it?
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Relationships are like fat people... most of them don't work out.