[bliss]

There are loads of scams on the Internet,

but for $19.99 I can show you how to avoid them.
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The reason beer goes through you so fast is...

because it doesn't have to change color on the way through.
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One day, I'll look up from my phone and realize my kids have put me in a nursing home.
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I'm dating this broad from upstate, and she invited me over her place to watch a movie. I'm sittin there and she takes out 2 boxes of Kleenex and told me that she rates her movies based on how many boxes of
tissues she goes thru.

"What a coincidence," I said. "Me too".
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Remember when "it's complicated" was a relationship status, not a gender status?
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An attorney was sitting in his office late one night when Satan appeared before him.

The Devil told the lawyer, “I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife’s soul, your children’s souls, your children’s children’s souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and your parents in law, and the souls of all your friends and law partners.”

The lawyer thought about this for a moment with a puzzled face, then asked, “OK, so… How's the catch?”
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