[bonyhadi]

Every "Hormone Hostage" knows that there are days in the month when all a
man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands. This
is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the
wallet of every husband, boyfriend or significant other.

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing THAT?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: Wow! Look at you!

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?

DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe.

TOP 14 THINGS PMS STANDS FOR:

~ Pass My Shotgun
~ Psychotic Mood Shift
~ Perpetual Munching Spree
~ Puffy Mid-Section
~ People Make Me Sick
~ Provide Me with Sweets
~ Pardon My Sobbing
~ Pimples May Surface
~ Pass My Sweatpants
~ Pissy Mood Syndrome
~ Plainly; Men Suck
~ Pack My Stuff
~ Permanent Menstrual Syndrome Q: How many women with PMS does it take to
change a light bulb?

A: One. Only ONE!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this
house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb
is BURNED OUT! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they
figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to
find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME
CUPBOARD for the past
17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle, actually find them 2 DAYS
LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb
would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!
AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME
IN! WHY? BECAUSE NO-ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A WONDER WE
HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12' DEEP
THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! - IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN
THIS #@*$!#@!... HOUSE!

I'm sorry...what did you ask me?