[bonyhadi]

THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY LITTLE SON
------------------------------------------------
A king size waterbed holds enough water to
fill a 2000 sq. foot ranch house 1/4 inch deep.

If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan,
the motor is not strong enough to rotate a
42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a
superman cape.* It is strong enough,
however, if tied to a paint can to spread
paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.

You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling
fan is on.* When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you
have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a
hit.* A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't
stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

When you hear the toilet flush and the words
"Uh-oh," it's already too late.

Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke,
and lots of it.

A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock
even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it
in the movies.

Certain LEGOs will pass through the digestive
tract of a six-year-old.

Play Dough and Microwave should never be used
in the same sentence.

Super glue is forever.

No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming
pool you still can't walk on water.

Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

VCR's do not eject PB & J sandwiches even
though TV commercials show they do.

Garbage bags do not make good parachutes

Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
Plastic toys do not like ovens.

The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute
response time.

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not
make earthworms dizzy.

It will however make cats dizzy.

Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.