[bonyhadi]

Father Harris was motoring along a country lane
in
his parish on a spring afternoon when all of a
sudden
he got a flat tire. Exasperated, the priest
stopped
his car, got out, and assessed the damage.
Luckily a
four-wheel-drive jeep rounded the bend and pulled
to a
stop behind the crippled vehicle.
The door to the jeep opened and out stepped a
powerful hunk of a man. "Good afternoon,
Father,"
greeted the stranger. "Can I give you a hand?"
"Heaven be praised," rejoiced the priest. "As
you
can see, my son, I have a flat tire, and I must
admit
I've never changed one before."
"Don't worry about it, Father. I'll take care
of
it." And without skipping a beat, the bruiser
picked
up the front of the car with one hand and removed
the
lug nuts from the base of the flat tire with the
other. "Why don't you get the spare from the
trunk?"
"Why, ahh, yes, of course, my son," stuttered
the
amazed Father Harris. The priest rolled the
spare
around to the strong-man who casually lifted it
up
with his free hand, maneuvered it into place, and
proceeded to tighten the lug nuts.
"Do you need the wrench?" the Father queried.
"That's OK," the fellow told him. "These nuts
are
as tight as a nun's snatch."
"Hmmmm..." mused Father Harris. "I'd better
get the
wrench."








This guy went to the doctors and said: "Doctor, I'm having problems with
my sex life!"

Doctor: "What do you mean?"

Guy: "Well, I'm just not getting any."

Doctor: "Look out the window then."

Guy: "Oh yeah, I see that convent. Good idea Doctor!"

Doctor: "Yes, but see that patch of mushrooms in front of it?"

The guy looks across and sees a beautiful young nun picking mushrooms.

The doctor then says, "Well, if you go place yourself underneath the
mushrooms with only your dick sticking out, you certainly won't regret
it."

The next morning, the guy is lying underneath the patch of mushrooms,
with his dick sticking out, as the doctor had said, and the most
beautiful young nun walks along with a basket.

She starts picking mushrooms, while singing a little song: "One little
mushroom for my basket, two little mushrooms for my basket, three little
mushrooms for my basket, four..., four..., four..., four..."

The guy cannot believe it; he is enjoying this so much.
That night while down at the pub, he is telling his story to his mates
and one of them (who is very drunk) decides to go and try this out for
himself.

So, that night he goes down to the convent, and places himself
underneath the patch of mushrooms, and leaves his dick sticking out. In
the morning, the fattest, most repulsive and butch nun comes along with
her basket.

She starts to pick mushrooms, while singing the same song: "One little
mushroom for my basket, two little mushrooms for my basket, three little
mushrooms for my basket, four..., four..., four..., FOUR little
mushrooms for my basket, five little mushrooms for my basket..."





























The priest in a small Irish village was very fond of the chickens he
kept in the hen house out back of the parish rectory.
He had a cock rooster and about ten hens.
One Saturday night the cock rooster was missing and, as that was the
time he suspected cock fights occurred in the village, he decided to
do
something about it at church the next morning.
At mass, he asked the congregation "Has anybody got a cock"----all the
men stood up.
"No, No" he said, "That wasn't what I meant.
Has anybody seen a cock?" all the women stood up. "No, No" he said,
"That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't
belong
to them?"---Half the women stood up
"No, No" he said, "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen my
cock?"----All the alter boys stood up