[bonyhadi]

Ugly Woman And Supper


Bob has been out on the road for two weeks. He stops at a brothel
outside Vegas. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and
says, "I want your ugliest woman and a peanutbutter sandwich!!!"

The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have
one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal." Bob replies, "Listen
sweetheart, I ain't horny, I'm homesick!











Big Steak


Rick goes into a restaurant with his wife. The waiter approaches the
table and asks for their order. "I'll have your biggest, juiciest
NewYork Strip," he says.

"But sir, what about the mad cow?!" asks the waiter.

"Oh," answers Rick, "she'll order for herself."






















No Your Not


"First," said Bob, "I'm going to buy you a few drinks and get you a bit
loose."

"Oh no you're not," said Linda.

"Then I'll take you to dinner and ply you with a few more drinks."

"Oh no you're not."

"Then I'll take you to my place and keep serving you drinks."

"Oh no you're not."

"Then I'm going to make mad, passionate love to you."

"Oh no you're not."

"And I'm not going to wear a condom either!" said Bob.

"Oh yes you are!" said Linda.










r


Julie went to the doctor's office. She was seen by one of the new
doctors, but after about four minutes in the examination room, she burst
out, screaming.

As she ran down the hall, an older doctor stopped and asked her what the
problem was, and she explained what was wrong.

He had her sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched
back to the new doctor and demanded, "What's the matter with you?
Mrs.Jones is a 35 year old, she has four children, her husband had a
vasectomy and you told her she was pregnant?"

The new doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write on his clipboard.
"Cured her hiccups though, didn't I?"


















A New Medicine


It seems researchers at the University of Michigan Medical school, have
come up with the first marijuana-based medical suppository. The only
drawback so far is that approximately ten minutes after insertion, you
have an overpowering urge to shove a Twinkie up your ass.















Too Young To Die


An American, a Scot and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident. They
were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died
before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the
American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and
nurses present asked him what happened.

"Well, " said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a
beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing
at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were
all too young to die, and that for a donation of $50, we could return to
the earth.So of course, I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $50, and
the next thing I knew I was back here."

"That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the
other two?"

"Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over the
price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his."