[bonyhadi]

A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, "You
know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station:

BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets.

BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole.

BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go.

"I have an idea. From now on when I say BELL 1, I want you to
strip naked.

When I say BELL 2, I want you to jump in bed.

And when I say BELL 3, we are going to make love all night."

The next night he came home from work and yelled

"BELL 1" The wife promptly took all her clothes off.

When he yelled "BELL 2," the wife jumped into bed.

When he yelled "BELL 3," they began making love.

After a few minutes the wife yelled "BELL 4"

"What the hell is BELL 4?" asked the husband?

"ROLL OUT MORE HOSE," she replied, "YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE











PULLING POWER!

A horse and a chicken were playing
in a meadow. The horse fell into a
mud hole and is started to sink.
The horse instructed the chicken
to get the farmer so that he could
be pulled to safety. The chicken
ran to the farm but the farmer was
nowhere to be found. Without a
moment to spare, the chicken got
into the farmer's BMW and drove
back to the mud hole. Then, the
chicken tied some rope around the
bumper, threw the other end of
the rope to her friend, the horse,
and proceeded to pull the horse
to safety.

A few days later, the chicken and
the horse were playing in the meadow
again. This time around, the chicken
fell into the mud hole. The chicken
instructed the horse to get the farmer
so that she could be pulled to safety.

Replied the horse, "Here's the plan...
I'll stand over the hole..." The horse
stretched over the length of the hole
and continued, "Now, just grab for
my penis and pull yourself to saftey."

The chicken obliged reluctantly and
pulled herself to safety.

The moral of the story: If you're hung
like a horse, you don't need a BMW to
pick up chicks.








A blonde heard that milk baths make you beautiful.** So, she left a note
for her milkman to leave 15 gallons
of milk.** When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a
mistake.** He thought she probably meant
1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point.** The
blonde came to the door and the milkman
said: "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15
gallons or 1.5 gallons?"** And the blonde
said: "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub with milk and
take a milk bath."** The milkman asked,
"Pasteurized?"** And the blonde said, "No, just up to my tits."